I'm moving my general blogging here from kevin.saff.net. That wordpress blog has been quiet for about 3 years, with some reason. The install is somewhat broken, and I'm not in the mood to repair it right now. Perhaps I'll be more motivated in the future to fix it or move to a different platform.
As for the content here at the new yodeling contest, I'm hoping it will be along the lines of a "devblog". About once a week I'll blog about lessons learned from trying to do cool things in the past week. I'm hoping this will serve as an encouragement to myself, so if I blog about something I'm working on and people seem excited about it, I may be more motivated to complete it and try to get it out into the world.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Opportunities in the second person
Writing in the second person (you) is common only in games and interactive fiction. Is this fair? Are authors missing out on some potential by sticking to the first (I) and third (he/she) persons? Certainly there are popular works written in the second person. Few graduations are complete without someone mentioning Oh, the Places You'll Go, and Dr. Seuss has written others in this mode. Italo Calvino's novel If on a Winter's Night A Traveler is half in the second person, but Calvino in general seems to get away with things that give us mortals trouble.
I've been working on a couple pieces lately in the second person: "Come, Dark Unicorn" and "The Heart Machine". In "Unicorn" this came about for reasons that were unclear to me. I had started it in the third person, got frustrated and gave up, before returning to it in the second person, which felt quite right and allowed me to complete it.
I commonly write flash fiction from a perspective very close to an unnamed, everyman protagonist, but in the past I have primarily used the first person. The strongest signal that this was not the correct mode for these stories is they did not make use of the first person's capacity for strong narrative voice. I want a generic character here, because I want to invoke particular feelings by having the reader identify strongly with this character. It's probably natural that I would eventually stumble across the second person to solve this problem.
A digression: the inner monologue
I recently read a young adult book, The Hunger Games, that was written in the first person, present tense. This put me off initially. Past tense first person is a natural mode for story-telling; when you talk to a friend, most stories you tell each other are in this mode. Present tense third person, on the other hand, feels like you are a passive observer to events taking place in front of your eyes. This is becoming more popular perhaps because television and film have accustomed us to experiencing stories in this way. But where does this leave first person present tense?
I think it requires us to really get inside the character's head. We have to see with the character's eyes as they see things, hear what they hear, and think what they think. People have a tendency of talking to themselves inside their heads, and this is often in the first person. The first person, present tense, can be considered an elaboration of this inner monologue.
"You" and "I"
When people talk to themselves, "you" and "I" refer to the same person. So the second person mode is an alternate possibility for encapsulating this inner monologue. It's interesting, though, that we tend to use first and second person for different classes of statements. When we think "you", this includes commands, warnings, and encouragements, as well as ethical or legal restrictions. On the other hand, memory and self-defense is more commonly thought in terms of "I". "You" is accusatory and generic in the same way that "I" is defensive and particular. We often alternate between the two modes; the following is a fairly natural, dull, inner monologue:
This means if "you" is used to relate inner monologues, it is better suited for different kinds of inner monologues than "I". One difference is that second person narratives will have a tendency towards the future tense that doesn't occur in first and third person. This is because the "you" voice, with its commands and warnings, is so concerned about the future. "You" is the natural pronoun of prophesy, after all. If the "I" voice considers the future at all, it's in terms of desires and fears rather than predictions. Second person narratives can consider using a mix of past, present, and future tenses where this is inappropriate for first.
"The Golden Key"
I'd like to use the Grimms' "Golden Key" as an example of what a story can gain from using the second person. Here's a quick attempt at a conversion:
What about the tone? The story gains a greater immediacy, which is surprising since that's not lacking in the original. We gain grammatical distinctions between actions, observations, and expectations that don't exist in the third person, giving the story more texture. We seem to gain a lot from this particular conversion without having to give up too much.
Some complexities
Potentially what you lose in the second person is a sense of a strong character with unique goals. If I can't picture myself in the "you" it becomes uncomfortable to read about this "you" who seems so different from me. Worse, it can feel like the author is saying things about me which are not true. Interactive fiction has experimented with all kinds of characters in the second person, but it may be easier to identify with a character you can control. Still, some long games like Blue Lacuna allow the player to specify their character's gender and sexuality so it is easier for the player to identify with the romantic possibilities in play.
I remain concerned that a reader may just have much trouble relating to a "you" in long, non-interactive fiction with an extensive personal history and strong desires. It is probably not desireable to write a long story starring a character without that, and so in this case the "you" character should be established early on as a unique individual rather than someone to strongly identify with. In that case the "you" character loses the second person's strength of universality. Still, this opens the possibility of revealing character by the commands and warnings they tell themselves rather than their actions and histories.
How have people responded to the story I'm working on, "Come, Dark Unicorn"? I'm not sure it's entirely successful, and perhaps in ways related to weakness of second person narrative. People did not seem to fill in the gaps in the narrative with personal details like I thought they might. It may be because of the implied fantasy in the title and subject matter that readers seemed surprised that it is set in a modern western nation, rather than assuming that until contradicted by the text. Still, nobody complained particularly about the second person voice, and difficulties seemed similar to those for my first person flash pieces. I'm too close to the story to judge it objectively right now, so I'll have to let it sit for a month to see if it has any of the power I felt while I was writing it.
That's it for "you"
The second person narrative mode is something you've been missing all your life. Use it. Experiment with it. You might find it fits for certain stories. You might have trouble with it.
I've been working on a couple pieces lately in the second person: "Come, Dark Unicorn" and "The Heart Machine". In "Unicorn" this came about for reasons that were unclear to me. I had started it in the third person, got frustrated and gave up, before returning to it in the second person, which felt quite right and allowed me to complete it.
I commonly write flash fiction from a perspective very close to an unnamed, everyman protagonist, but in the past I have primarily used the first person. The strongest signal that this was not the correct mode for these stories is they did not make use of the first person's capacity for strong narrative voice. I want a generic character here, because I want to invoke particular feelings by having the reader identify strongly with this character. It's probably natural that I would eventually stumble across the second person to solve this problem.
A digression: the inner monologue
I recently read a young adult book, The Hunger Games, that was written in the first person, present tense. This put me off initially. Past tense first person is a natural mode for story-telling; when you talk to a friend, most stories you tell each other are in this mode. Present tense third person, on the other hand, feels like you are a passive observer to events taking place in front of your eyes. This is becoming more popular perhaps because television and film have accustomed us to experiencing stories in this way. But where does this leave first person present tense?
I think it requires us to really get inside the character's head. We have to see with the character's eyes as they see things, hear what they hear, and think what they think. People have a tendency of talking to themselves inside their heads, and this is often in the first person. The first person, present tense, can be considered an elaboration of this inner monologue.
"You" and "I"
When people talk to themselves, "you" and "I" refer to the same person. So the second person mode is an alternate possibility for encapsulating this inner monologue. It's interesting, though, that we tend to use first and second person for different classes of statements. When we think "you", this includes commands, warnings, and encouragements, as well as ethical or legal restrictions. On the other hand, memory and self-defense is more commonly thought in terms of "I". "You" is accusatory and generic in the same way that "I" is defensive and particular. We often alternate between the two modes; the following is a fairly natural, dull, inner monologue:
You've got to get up. But I'm so tired. You'll be late to work. I don't feel so good. Maybe just another few minutes. Get up! I didn't think I drank that much last night, did I?
This means if "you" is used to relate inner monologues, it is better suited for different kinds of inner monologues than "I". One difference is that second person narratives will have a tendency towards the future tense that doesn't occur in first and third person. This is because the "you" voice, with its commands and warnings, is so concerned about the future. "You" is the natural pronoun of prophesy, after all. If the "I" voice considers the future at all, it's in terms of desires and fears rather than predictions. Second person narratives can consider using a mix of past, present, and future tenses where this is inappropriate for first.
"The Golden Key"
I'd like to use the Grimms' "Golden Key" as an example of what a story can gain from using the second person. Here's a quick attempt at a conversion:
It is winter, and the snow is very deep. You have to go out. Fetch wood; use your sled. You gather the wood and load it. Don't go straight home. You're so frozen, you'd better make a fire to warm yourself first, at least a little. You need to scrape the snow away, and while you do, you find a small golden key. If there's a key, there must be a lock. You dig in the ground and find a little iron chest. If only the key fits! There's got to be some valuable things inside. You look, but there is no keyhole. Look again, there must be one. Yes -- it's just so small it could hardly be seen. Try the key. Fortunately, it fits. You turn it once. You can't wait until you've finally unlocked and opened the lid. Soon you'll find out what sorts of wonderful things are in the little chest.I've completely eliminated the "poor boy" from the story and replaced him with "you". The elimination of an entire character seems to have little effect. The only characteristics he had were poverty, childhood, and male-ness. It doesn't matter that he was male; grammar just requires us to assign a gender to characters we write about in the third person. It doesn't seem too necessary to mention poverty because this is clearly a desperate situation. It is perhaps significant that the actor is young; I could have begun the story with the sentence "You are a poor child," and that may have set the stage differently for your experience.
What about the tone? The story gains a greater immediacy, which is surprising since that's not lacking in the original. We gain grammatical distinctions between actions, observations, and expectations that don't exist in the third person, giving the story more texture. We seem to gain a lot from this particular conversion without having to give up too much.
Some complexities
Potentially what you lose in the second person is a sense of a strong character with unique goals. If I can't picture myself in the "you" it becomes uncomfortable to read about this "you" who seems so different from me. Worse, it can feel like the author is saying things about me which are not true. Interactive fiction has experimented with all kinds of characters in the second person, but it may be easier to identify with a character you can control. Still, some long games like Blue Lacuna allow the player to specify their character's gender and sexuality so it is easier for the player to identify with the romantic possibilities in play.
I remain concerned that a reader may just have much trouble relating to a "you" in long, non-interactive fiction with an extensive personal history and strong desires. It is probably not desireable to write a long story starring a character without that, and so in this case the "you" character should be established early on as a unique individual rather than someone to strongly identify with. In that case the "you" character loses the second person's strength of universality. Still, this opens the possibility of revealing character by the commands and warnings they tell themselves rather than their actions and histories.
How have people responded to the story I'm working on, "Come, Dark Unicorn"? I'm not sure it's entirely successful, and perhaps in ways related to weakness of second person narrative. People did not seem to fill in the gaps in the narrative with personal details like I thought they might. It may be because of the implied fantasy in the title and subject matter that readers seemed surprised that it is set in a modern western nation, rather than assuming that until contradicted by the text. Still, nobody complained particularly about the second person voice, and difficulties seemed similar to those for my first person flash pieces. I'm too close to the story to judge it objectively right now, so I'll have to let it sit for a month to see if it has any of the power I felt while I was writing it.
That's it for "you"
The second person narrative mode is something you've been missing all your life. Use it. Experiment with it. You might find it fits for certain stories. You might have trouble with it.
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